We’ve all heard it: the voice inside
of us that tells us that we’re just not good enough. Negative self-talk
challenges our self-confidence and often makes us question our own personal
authenticity.
It shows up differently for
everyone, but it all stems from one place: the ego. The ego is the place where
our self-esteem lies, and it’s the reactive voice in our heads. Unlike our
deeper intuition that’s more difficult to damage, the ego is often hurt by
criticism or stress.
My inner voice often turns negative,
and it gets worse when I fight back with aggression. So instead of fighting to
quiet my ego when it’s hurting, I’ve embraced a new approach:
Comfort your negative voices
I found myself unable to sleep one night,
with a litany of self-deprecating comments running through my mind. Instead of
feeling angry or succumbing to sadness, I decided to ask myself a simple
question:
“What are you afraid of?”
With that, I felt my ego breaking
down. Everything that negative inner voice had been saying was coming from a place of fear more than
anything else. And I realized that what my ego needed most wasn’t aggression,
it was comfort.
How to comfort your ego & stop
negative self-talk
Once I started to confront my ego
with that question, I was able to process my emotions more easily.
Here’s how:
- Start by finding your ego. Get familiar with what your ego is saying and what part of your mind it occupies. It’s usually the source of the negative inner voice.
- Identify your pain points. This is where you ask yourself what it is that you are afraid of. Usually, change or uncertainty drives this fear. Is there uncertainty in your relationships, career, finances or your personal development? It’s easy to let negative self-talk create chaos in our heads, but it’s much more productive to calmly identify and deal with the source.
- Comfort your ego instead of fighting it. I call this reaching out to your “inner mean girl” and offering comfort instead of critique. Ask a friend for help if you need someone else to remind you that everything will work out for the best.
- Create actionable goals to move forward. If there’s a concrete step you can take to assuage the fear you are feeling, plot out how you’re going to take it. For example, if finances are stressing you out, plan a time to create a budget.
- Trust yourself. There’s only so much you can do to cater to your ego’s need for a feeling of safety. Instead of always staying in that “safe zone,” remind yourself to take one step at a time and that everything will come together as long as you trust yourself.
This won’t change everything
overnight, but with time and practice, you can train yourself to take positive
action whenever you hear that negative voice speaking up.
There’s no use in continuing to
allow that negative self-talk to beat you up because it will damage your
happiness and well-being in the long run.
Next time your inner voice starts
speaking up with self-criticism or self-deprecation, take a deep breath and a
pause. And then take a moment to break down whatever fear that “inner mean
girl” is reacting to.
What’s
your favorite way to combat negative self-talk?
You can also check out our previous posts like:
Easy things to do when you are really scared to try something new
You are going to make it (with audio message)
Unavoidable and Harsh Truths Why You Still Haven’t...
Trust the future
Ways to stay motivated
and many others.Just take your time and go through them, we have a lot in stock for you.
Do have a lovely weekend
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